On an all expenses paid trip with my grandmother in a luxury hotel halfway around the world. We must leave the cool and easy lobby for the burning sun to complete some kind of quest. By the industrial skyline and the series of period gunners marching from the water it must be Egypt on the eve of the First World War. We play along with the headscarves and squalor. And after a coastal stroll my grandmother takes the wheel of the rental car and insists on navigating, poorly, through a maze of railway switches. My kingdom for GPS.