Paying by the hour, I learn how to pretend to bicycle while suspended from the ceiling by fishing line. When the attendant tries to convince me to buy half a pound of raw squid to patch up a hole in the wall, I know enough to call her bluff. Later, I'm entering a drug and music store laid out like Urban Outfitters. After passing through an aisle of greeting cards and framed posters from a company called "Grids n' Titties," I see some space age organic liquid deodorant bottles which flare up at the top like letter openers.