It is 2010, and I have been enrolled to compete in the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. The sport—"pisking"—involves a series of physical and mental obstacles along a track that winds around a large house made of packed snow and driftwood. The sole referee and announcer is Penn Jillette. He gathers the competitors, many of whom are equipped with crampons and leather-lined parkas, to lay out the rules of the game. Naked, I creep off to find a towel. The whistle is blown and there is a flurry of activity but I am not sure what to do. When I raise my hand to ask a question, I am called on by Alan Colmes, who appears to be Penn's assistant. And so I wonder: Will it be Hannity and Teller tonight?